I liked you. Being with you made my days always better. I was feeling much more powerful and faster when I was with you. Without realizing it, I grew fond of you. I kept making dreams despite the harsh winter that is coming.
All of a sudden, a few days ago you started whining. At the beginning, I didn’t pay any attention. It was easy to find excuses. Maybe, it was my imagination or, maybe, something that time would heal. But your whining persisted. I had to confront the reality. Maybe there was a real problem. I started thinking of solution. I was contemplating of discussing the matter in a direct confrontation with you but I was a little bit worried about the cost.
I should have acted proactively. As it seems, you had other plans. Today, we were going together to the supermarket. Towards there, almost at the end, you burst. You started making a lot of noise. I was there, by you, in the cold feeling so sad and impotent.
It could not be. I walked by you. At least, I was somehow prepared. I tried to understand what exactly was happening. I saw a part of the truth, but only the pieces that you left to slip towards my untrained eyes. Partly, I blamed myself of not taking care properly of you earlier. But how could I know? I passed quickly through all the stages of grief. Now, at the moment of writing this memorial, I still feel interwoven depression and acceptance. But, before coming to the present, let me tell you a bit more about what happened later, as you may understand my feelings.
Being silent and disappointed, I walked with you for several meters back home. We were not talking anymore, preoccupied by our own thoughts. The light rain and the cold atmosphere almost matched with my feelings. I was still contemplating about what went wrong and what we could have improved. I decided that we should at least try to see if we could fix things once again.
When I asked what was wrong and I was told the price that I should pay for that, I was shocked. Then I was reminded. To find a love is not that hard, but to maintain it, it needs the dedication of a whole life. I made my mind. I was ready to pay the price in order to have you with me once again.
After a long time, I came back home without you. I still feel the pain, but now, I also feel more mature. I will see you again tomorrow. For the time being, I hope you will be safe.
…In case you were confused, my bicycle’s rear tire was blown out today.